New year new blog

Hello everyone my name is Kailum and.. welcome back!

I started this blog a couple of months back as something different, change things up again! I loved it.. but it was hellaaaaa hard work compared to jumping in front of your phone and recording something. But with the views I received.. honestly I think it would be a waste to throw it away. You guys must of enjoyed it or else I wouldn’t have got those views so

HELLO BITCHES I IS BACKKKKKK

So it’s a new year which means.. NEW US.

But do we really change? Why wait a new year to change things up and be different?? That is just an excuse your using! You don’t have to wait until the start of the year to change shit up, change when you want to change!

My new year resolutions this year is to focus a lot on my social media and change things up a bit and try something different.

Also, I hope to become a better hairdresser and learn new things that open more doors for me.

I would like to go out more and enjoy being a 19 year old rather than letting my anxiety get to me! This year is my year

LETS GO OUT BITCHES! Slay slay slay and don’t forget to instagram it

Thankyou guys so much for reading!! If this gets over 5,000 I will do weekly blogs for you guys!!!

Social media’s

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Facebook @kailumsLife

Types of people on this bus

Hello everyone my name is kailum and welcome back to my blog!

Before we go any further make sure to give my Snapchat vlog an add @kailumsLife POSTING EEVERYDAYY

TYPES OF PEOPLE ON THE BUS

smelly

There’s always one smelly bastard on the bus that doesn’t have a clue what deodorant or soap is and has to ruin the journey for everyone.. there is nothing worst than a smelly sitting beside you on the bus and making you want to jump out the window.. soap is 13p, water is fucking free.. WASH

THE DRUNK

Usually you always get that one drunk man who sits in his polo shirt and bomber jacket, Ned Flanders mustache, hairline at the back of his head, socks from b&m BLOCKEDDDD.. it’s always hilarious watching them have a conversation with themselves, or arguing with a seat, but it’s fucking brilliant watching them get off

IGNORANT GRANNY

yes I was raised to respect my elders.. BUT THERES ALWAYS THAT ONE WRINKLY BITCH THAT GETS ON MY TITS ON A BUS.. the bus might be packed and you are sitting down and can see people struggling to find and get a seat? There will always be that one granny that will sit on the outside and put her bags on the seat on the inside and will not move.. that’s 2 seats wrinkly tits, pay for 2 fares

CRINGY COUPLE

THERE IS NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN A LIVE SEX SHOW ON A FUCKING BUS.. there is always that middle aged 23-27 year olds couple sitting on top of each other mawling the face off eachother.. “hello translink? I did not wanna watch pornhub today” I don’t know how they can sit and be like that on a bus full of people?? Not even Romeo and Juliet would have them kind of balls..

THE SLEEPER

this is so me.. there is always one person on the bus who might have had a long day and wants to have a little nap… preferably me! I LOVEEEEE NAPS! But what I don’t love is how much of a loud sleeper I am.. do you ever get when your on the bus and someone is passed out asleep snoring dribbling sprawled across the seats.. guilty

BASTARD CHILDREN

Ok I’m a young adult not a child.. but there’s nothing more annoying than a group of 12-14 year olds on the bus thinking they are tiesto playing the decks at the back of the bus.. the boys are trying to be alpha males so they are getting on like a bunch of gorillas trying to be the alpha.. yet they have not got a Pube between them and there voices sound like chipmunks.. NO PLEASE SIT DOWN

RALLY DRIVERS

there is always one bus driver who thinks he is racing lightening McQueen.. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.. there is nothing more terrifying than your bus driver, flying down the road like a fucking Ferrari.. I want to live.. I don’t wanna die on a fucking translink bus for £2.20 return

SO AS YOU CAN TELL.. I hate buses!!
If you enjoyed this make sure to give it a like and a follow

Also. I will be uploading weekly vlogs every Wednesday night at 9 guys so make sure you come back

WEEKLY BLOG UPDATE

Hey everyone my names kailum and welcome back to my blog!!

Soooooo your probably wondering??! He hasn’t uploaded a blog in like a week I wonder did he loose interest… NOOOOO

Iv decided because with working a full time job and trying to have a fun, wild and normal teenage life it’s hard to have a blog every night!!!

Sooooo new plan.. I have decided, 1 blog every week I haven’t decided what day yet but it’s coming, I swear

IN A WEEK MY BLOG BROUGHT IN OVER 12,000 VIEWERS?! That is crazy.. like I expected 1000 I swear!!! So I have a new milestone

IF I take my time and really make a good blog or 2 every week instead of random last minute blogs I feel they will be more interesting and better!!!

So make sure you follow my blog page you bitch! Check out my Snapchat blog @kailumsLife and get ready for the newwwwww plan!!

Social medias
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Snapchat @kailumsLife
Facebook @kailumsLife
Twitter @kailumsLife

Sexuality

I am hungry

The end xo

IF ASOS WAS MY WARDROBE

Hey everyone my name is kailum and welcome to my blog!!

Today’s blog is going to be my whole week outfit if ASOS was my wardrobe.. we can only dream bitches

Monday

Mondays outfit is all about comfort!! Iv went for joggers and this fluffy huge jacket that I love.. hello I am ready

Tuesday

Tuesdays outfit is all about my favourite brand CALVIN KLIEN!!! Khaki is so 2017 this year and also a fav of mine.. so I would love love love this outfit

Wednesday

Wednesday outfit is literally so different.. I love different!! Wednesday is my dress like a wannabe celebrity day.. hello is that you Kanye

THURSDAY

Thursday outfit is just…. I love it ok

FRIDAY

Fridays outfit is all out dressy!!! Who doesn’t like to make an effort on a Friday

SATURDAY

Saturdays outfit is so chilled!! Dressy but chilled.. perfect outfit to stay comfortable but look good

NOW THAT I MADE THIS BLOG!! I want all these outfits… UGH!!!

I hope you enjoyed this blog and let me know by commenting which day was your favourite outfit

Social medias

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Twitter @kailumsLife
Snapchat @kailumsLife

HOW TO HAVE THE BEST WEEKEND EVER

Hey everyone my names kailum and welcome back

So you wanna know how to have the best weekend EVER

With this blog.. I got your back bitch.. I’m gonna have you crying for the weekend to start all over again so you can read my blog and relive the best weekend of your life.. I sound so Fucking cringe

STEP 1

VODKA!!! Is a weekend really a weekend without getting legless on vodka. Vodka is the best start to having the best weekend

STEP 2

PLEASE THINK WISELY!! If you are gonna follow these steps make sure you find a field to get drunk in! If you are drinking vodka and don’t wanna get caught.. campouttttttttt! Tell your parents your staying in your friends and get your friends to say the same.. CAMPOUT!!

THROWBACK SONGS

YESS! If you have stook to the steps you are gonna be blocked in a field in a onesie loving life.. and how do you live life even more.. THROWBACK SONGS!!!!’

STEP 3

If you have stuck to these steps and decided to be a rebel.. HELLO YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A HANGOVER.. but don’t worry step 3 already let you know that right??! Hangover food! Make
sure you save some money to get greasy foods!

PIZZA, KEBABS, NUGGETS, CHINESE, CHIPPER, BACONNNNNNN

STEP 4

So your hangover is gonna be in full set.. youv got your hangover cure.. but nothing cures a hangover like a Disney movie!!! EVERYONE LOVES A DISNEY MOVIE NO MATTER WHAT CONDITION THEY ARE IN! And that is how you finish off your weekend.. unless you want a dirtier blog and we can talk about se…. NO THANKYOU XO

THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR 10,000 VISITORS IN LESS THAN A WEEK… I AM SHOOKETH

social media

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I GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL

Hello everyone my names kailum and welcome back to my blog..

so you know what this blog is about by the title.. I was expelled from school when I was 16

Personally I feel I was expelled from school for no reason, and I feel the school just didnt want me to attend. I always used to get suspended in high school for the silliest reasons.. hair cut too short, ear pierced, and the worst of them.. wearing white ankle socks. Yep that was how pathetic my high school was

Now.. teachers if you are reading this.. I liked some of you, the religion teacher, my art teacher, my science teacher and my business studies teacher.. the rest.. not so much..

So I had just started 6th form college and it was already shit! I had chosen a subject I didn’t want to do, and only really done it because my friends were doing it and I wasn’t aloud to do hairdressing.. I was never really smart in school, I knew what I was doing, but I wasn’t a fucking genius and to be honest.. had no interest.

One day me and my friends were all in one of my study classes chatting away? Now this is the messed up part. My whole class was talking, not one of them were revising or studying or doing anything productive.. it was kind of like our free period where we got to choose what we wanted to do.

I was sitting having a laugh with my friends when a classroom assistant decided to start shouting at me for being disruptive.. now I would’ve understood if no one was talking and people we’re trying to study.. but the whole Fucking class was talking! So she shouted at me calling me disruptive and going on about how I need to be the centre of attention and just really trying to make me bite so I would get in trouble. Thinking back on it now, I wish I hadn’t of bitten her bate. But I would’ve been kicked out one way or another

So I ignored the stuff she was saying as I knew she was trying to get a reaction.. as she normally does. But when she went in on me the second time and got abit more personal.. that’s when I had enough.. I lashed back, I bit her bate and believe me she was in for an ear full.. I screamed at her for being so ignorant and making fun of me in front of the whole class and bringing me down about my grades and my lifestyle.. I told her to shut her mouth and not to speak to me..

But she kept going on and on and on and on.. until I really did snap and I told her to shut the fuck up.. along with a threat. I had became a sycho and kicked my table and blushed my chair flying and walked out! I’m a drama queen what do you expect.. I was sent home that day and told come back tomorrow.. I knew what was coming

The teachers in that school were dying to expell me, they couldn’t see me there it was so obvious over the years.. basiclaly went on about how they are not letting me get away with threatening a teacher and she was scared.. as if I was gonna smash her face off the table.. I’m afraid of broccoli never mind violence.. it just slipped out.

But that was when I was told it was the end of the road for me and I was expelled.. I was upset yes.. I had only made all new friends and starting liking my subject, and now I was being told that I wasn’t aloud back to school.. of course I was upset.. but I don’t believe that’s why I was expelled! I was expelled because they didn’t like me.. I could bet my life on it!

Social media
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Twitter @kailumsLife
Instagram @kailumsLife

KAILUMS 5 STEPS TO GET AWAY WITH FARTING IN PUBLIC

Hello everyone my name is kailum and.. your backkkkkkk

BTW I WROTE THIS BLOG WHILE TAKING A SHIT TO PASS THE TIME

So today’s blog is gonna be the best thing you have read since the instructions on a microwave chicken curry

How scary is it when you need to fart in public.. ITS FUCKING TERRIFYING!!! So today I’m gonna give you some tips on how to get away with it

step 1
Exaggerating your cough to silent out the eruption in your pants is the best way to get away with farting in public.. your friends might look at you as if you are coughing up a lung.. but if they know your a drama queen like myself it won’t even faze them.

step 2
sing a song while farting.. if you start randomly singing Britney Spears toxic to disguise a fart.. people aren’t gonna be one bit interested in the fart.. they are gonna be interested in your performance baby

step 3
Have a confident bff! I know how awkward it is for a girl to fart.. so if my bffs need to let their booty breath I’ll take the rap if anyone hears.. I mean, what kind of bff would I be if I didn’t

step 4
RUN.. if you know your fart is gonna sound like a machine gun.. ain’t nothing gonna disguise what’s gonna come out of your hole.. you just gotta distance yourself and prepare for a #stingyring

step 5
Blame a randomer.. I always do it, ever get when your in a shop or if your in school and you bend over and a fart slips out.. don’t panic, just give the closest person to you, whether it’s a 50 year old man, or if it’s a tree the death look.. they farted not you??? Right rightttttttttt blame them. Fuck them what’re they gonna do, ring the fart police.. dirty bitches

AND THAT IS KAILUMS 5 STEPS TO BEING ABLE TO FART IN PUBLIC

social medias
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Twitter @kailumsLife
Instagram @kailumsLife

2 faced people

Hey everyone my name is kailum and welcome backkkkkkkkk

So 2 faced people??? One word.. CUNTS!

I can’t standdddd 2 faced people. It makes it harder for us to choose which side to slap first.. there is nothing worst than having a 2 faced friend in the group who’s so fucking snakey and slimy.. and it’s so obvious!!!

Whyyy are they 2 faced?? Hmmm that’s a hard one! Oh wait.. it’s not it’s just slimy affff..

I don’t know how someone can be so 2 faced and stir the pot soooooo much and feel like they can get away without it.. YOU MAD?

I think it’s so pathetic when people are 2 faced it’s just so awkward because we all know they are carrying story’s? Or shot stirring and adding bits on to make things worst?? But when it comes to confrontation they act as if they were raised by the fucking saints and watergods like no.. you were raised in a council house with beans on toast for your dinner every Tuesday!

I just don’t get it! It’s fucking snakey as fuck

this is not aimed at anyone by the way before I loose about 16 friends and get thrown under the Ulster bus this is just something that makes my blood BOILLLL

GUYS I LOVE TO VLOG ON MY SNAPCHAT ACOUNT ALSO SO IT THAT HAS ANY INTEREST TO YOU..

@kailumsLife

social medias
Snapchat @kailumsLife
Twitter @kailumsLife
Instagram @kailumsLife

Btw I farted writing this blog and my bum hole is legit on fire.. #stingyring

KAILUMS BACK TO SCHOOL ESSENTIALS

Hello everyone my name is kailum and welcome back to my blog

Today I’m gonna show you some of my back to school essentials that I would need if I was going back to school this week

I have chose this white adidas bag!
I love how plain and clean this is..
when i was going to school every single year I would always get a new bag.. I didn’t care if I had a pen, a ruler, shoes, underwear as long as I had the nicest bag in class.

Now we are onto what’s in the bag!
I have went for this marble pencil case! This design is so popular this year and I think it would go nice with the white theme I have going on with my bag i.e.!

Personalised is right up my street! So to go with my theme I have chosen the same type of design for my note book. I have gotten it personalised so it doesn’t get stolen or if lost returned to its rightful owner.

shoes.. my favourite thing to buy!! I hate these posh looking farmer shoes so for school I would always get some stylish branded shoes! I love airforce. They are comfortable and so stylish.. my second choice is the overall black converse. Converse go with anything and it is handy to have a pair for school or even going out! They will never go out of style.

I never really needed a folder until I was in 5th year and wanted to keep my revision and notes neat and organised! So if this is your exam year a folder will come in very handy. I have kept my theme up and stuck to the same design

And yea that’s basically all I really worry about when going back to school! Goodluck going back to school! I might do another essential blog with what I think would look nice for girls going back to school I’ll see what say this gets on! But until then.. I farted again

Make sure to check out my social accounts
Snapchat @kailumsLife
Twitter @kailumsLife
Instagram @kailumsLife

Thanks for reading!! Go marbellllll or go home bitches

Here’s a few other items that don’t really need explains but are a must for school